I never stood a chance growing up…

Between my fathers constant alcoholism and work, to my mothers spending and socializing addictions, I had no one to raise me except Art and Film.

Sure I went to school but school is basically a reformation jail so you do not actually learn anything valid in terms of actual life and intelligence.

Even though I was still good at school my family was too poor to pay for any further schooling for me, especially for the things I wanted to do in life at the time.

They basically told me we have no place elsewhere in life so go get a crappy job and deal with it like the rest of us.

Big mistake on my part as I tried and failed at countless jobs like they and school suggested due to not being able to pursue higher education.

Since I myself do not agree with student loans nor did I want to end up 100k in the hole working for peanuts till 40 trying to pay it off.

Not to mention it wouldn’t have been towards a school or career I desired as in higher higher education they expect down payments in advance and what not.

Anyways long story short I was basically dead before I hit the water in terms of life placement which is why at 30 I gave up my old life completely and began writing instead.

Not just any writing but religious as well hence me seeking Anglican approval to include religious studies into my writing two years ago.

Not to mention mentoring at first as I came to their door step completely lost and ready to just give up on life altogether.

So the priest basically told me that I am of holy nature and my spirit resents serving man’s needs which is why I should try serving God’s needs instead.

I was religious before but never serious about it until I decided to restudy it all over again but this time from a older more mature perspective.

Hence the whole suddenly being very faithful at 30 because while re-reading all the world religions I noticed a different story this time around from what I could remember.

The story is the same but the details I mean, way more made actual sense basically.

Plus I would have never noticed Jenna let alone noticing that Dr. Who and Her nature complimented my own works and studies.

Like flame and shadow basically due to her motivating me and complimenting my end so well without even being there.

It’s like dancing with the t.v because it’s alive in an artificial intelligence kind of way.

In which case I thank God for because had I not turned down this road?

My love for her let alone the idea to try to get closer to her would never have crossed my mind.

It’s like they say God knows your true heart desire and finding love has always been my desire due to lack of it growing up and just who I am naturally.

I make a better dog than a human is the best way to explain it.

Isaiah 40:30-31 New International Version (NIV)

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Proverbs 30:30

The lion, king of animals, who won’t turn aside for anything,

Quran 2:100

Is it not [true] that every time they took a covenant a party of them threw it away?

But, [in fact], most of them do not believe.

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