That Hope in Jenna keeps me alive, that’s it.

You can prove to me like I have already to self, that I am God or Devil and the wealthiest man in the world but in my reality?

That’s not wealth at all, loving her is wealth, being with her priceless.

Like what majority humanity does not understand is that I do not want to be alive at all and that’s truth.

I imagine millions ways of dying because I hate living but I love her and I imagine that if she loved me then she would obviously want me to stay alive.

Which is the only thought that keeps me going besides the hell I am in.

When a man’s only true pleasure is drugs and alcohol?

There is an extremely major issue in that scenario considering I am not some senior with a dead wife drinking his detachment away.

But also when you consider them killing off Clara/Jenna from Dr. Who?

It really is when you replace wife with love….

I re-watch the episodes and recreate them because for 4 simple years I shared an experience with her, and I was truly happy for once.

Then they killed her off and I nosedived into depression hardcore trying to fill that gap since with all of this madness and beyond.

We don’t choose who we love, Love chooses for us.

I know that for a fact as when I chose for self?

It always fell apart but when it hit me like the first time I saw her?

I knew then that was real love, as I never chose it…She simply walked into my life.

Also known as Tardis aka heart for short. ⁂

“I was always hungry for love.

Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more.

Just once. ” 

― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

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