Do you know what’s scarier than depression?

Falling in love with it to the point of recreating depressing/lovey scenarios to hurt one self emotionally.

Just like I cut into myself many times in the past, I simply learned how to do it in other ways through online.

Can’t cure someone who enjoys the pain, let alone attempt to scare them with pain. ⁂

The Woman who loves the Devil but further more doesn’t Hate me for it which means more to me than love almost.

I cannot change who I am, I can only use it to not be who I was.
Related image
“…there was a natural comorbidity between sexual appetite and sexual jealousy, between the desire to fuck and the desire to kill.”

― M. Thomas Gammarino, Big in Japan: A (Hungry) Ghost Story
“You will know who the enemy is intimidated by because they’re the ones he targets and keeps beating down.”

― Donna Lynn Hope

He Seems Stressed.

Morningstar stresses the vision.
Image result for malcolm tucker quote gif
“Orange Sherbert”
Daniel 3:95 New American Bible (Revised Edition) (NABRE)

95 Nebuchadnezzar exclaimed, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who sent his angel to deliver the servants that trusted in him; they disobeyed the royal command and yielded their bodies rather than serve or worship any god except their own God.
“Do you remember when we took that tame sport called swords and learned to kill with it, as the old volumes said men once had?”

― Robert Jordan, The Dragon Reborn
“Shade still weighs on me like a terrible stone.”

― Victoria Aveyard, Red Queen

We can destroy each other using the most futile methods…

This is even way before fists and weapons come into play….😂

Not well at all…😂

Unplug the female supply and watch man crumble.
Image result for i need it gif
“It was the wildness of it that got me going: the primal lust, the sheer needs of two people in heat, quickly finding ways to express their sacred hunger to each other in animal passion.”

― Fiona Thrust, Naked and Sexual
Well that’s not untrue…😂
I am curious to see what the “program programmer” has in mind otherwise.


Makes sense…😂
Image result for malcolm tucker quote gif
Coleman: In your entire friends list on Instagram you have me, 58 bots/fan accounts of me and Luna.

You can ask her if she needs Canadian access or something. 😂
Related image
Truth makes way better stories than fables.

Well once again it’s not untrue.

There is always that grey area which binds us all together, which is how I can flip any perspective or attach someone/something to a perspective and use it like a switcher.
Image result for light switch gif
“The maturing of a woman who has continued to grow is a beautiful thing to behold.

Or, if your ad revenue or your seven-figure salary or your privileged sexual status depend on it, it is an operable condition.”

― Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth
Luke 24:43

He took them and ate them in their presence. 😂
Image result for im dying gif
“Tie me up, please…” Chantal said.

They looked above at some vines and roots hanging down from the grassy area above the depression in the canal they were standing in.

She was in his hands—he had to comply.

A little bit of kink was one of the most delicious of erotic pleasures.

Catholic school girls were often the horniest—Brett could hardly contain his elation.”

― Jess C Scott, Catholic School Girls Rule
All dungeons and dragons aside it really does even without the actual sex, just the beauty and the thought of sex alone is enough to “turn a person”.
Some people seek leashes for deeper reasons than we reveal for whatever reason, mainly of others being afraid and not accepting let alone understanding.

Most people see psychopath and automatically think murderer but that’s not the case at all otherwise many politicians and doctors would be secretly murdering people on the side.

Instead what do we do?

Indulge in money, sex, drugs, art, love, alcohol, games etc…..

All distractions to keep ourselves positive otherwise this happens.
What keeps me good?

Is the fact that I know if I ever murdered I would not feel guilty which is why I do not bother trying to find out what I myself already know.

If you understand self?

You can control self.

Which even includes letting yourself get out of control in order to distract inner self from lashing out due to whatever factors.

Society keeps assuming and pushing people around until suddenly someone like me snaps except they never displayed it all in advance, it just comes out of the blue.
“I had a werewolf morning.

Awoke with a rum hangover, imagined blood on the walls, and prayed to god it was mine.”

― Randy Wayne White, Ten Thousand Islands

I can get along with anyone if I want to.

I just don’t care to as much. ⁂

“Discipline is the soul of an army.

It makes small numbers formidable; procures success to the weak, and esteem to all”

― George Washington
Jeremiah 10:23

LORD, I know that many people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps.
Image result for lucifer hello drug dealers gifs
Image result for lucifer hello drug dealers gifs
Of good quality supplies, good dealers and good times.
Related image
Image result for energizer bunny gif
To be high on life is to be high on self regardless of form.

“Attachments are Gold”

Also known as teamwork. ⁂

“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

― George Orwell
James 2:26 New International Version (NIV)

26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
 Isaiah 14:12

How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn!

You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!
“Danger, like a third man, was standing in the room.”

― Ian Fleming, From Russia With Love
Proverbs 24:3

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.
Quran 20:1

Ta, Ha.

“Teachers Assistant Laughing” and Cry.
“It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every citizen who enjoys the protection of a free government owes not only a proportion of his property, but even of his personal services to the defense of it.”

― George Washington

This may be my only post today…

Since I appear to be in a straight up asshole mood with most of my thoughts and feelings.

Just one of those days where you wake up set the world on fire, tell her sorry and I love you followed by a nose dive into a pile of Cocaine because you know you are evil at it’s finest.

Just because one can control themselves in terms of not acting upon it outside the virtual box, does not mean the urges are not there.

The pictures of Coleman usually work better but inner me being a dick today is like, wtf am I supposed to do with a bunch of pictures? ⁂ 😂

Ezekiel 16:43

“‘Because you did not remember the days of your youth but enraged me with all these things, I will surely bring down on your head what you have done, declares the Sovereign LORD.

Did you not add lewdness to all your other detestable practices?
Matthew 7:20

Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
Luke 8:47

Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet.

In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed.
Just switch the woman for the man coming into contact with female Jesus Coleman to cause that same healing and bingo.

My urges already dropped significantly at this point in the post.

She is like reverse kryptonite.

I feel sick the further away I am from her, meanwhile when I get close I feel better.

It’s like magic.
2 Corinthians 7:1

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
Numbers 12:6

He said, “Listen to my words: “When there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams.
Numbers 11:17

I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them.

They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.

Quran 9:44

Those who believe in Allah and the Last Day would not ask permission of you to be excused from striving with their wealth and their lives.

And Allah is Knowing of those who fear Him.
“Creationists make it sound like a ‘theory’ is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.

Isaac Asimov, Russian-born American author”

― George Washington, Quotes on the Dangers of Religion
Image result for clara i can't always win
“Surround yourself with human beings, my dear James.

They are easier to fight for than principles.’

He laughed. ‘But don’t let me down and become human yourself.

We would lose such a wonderful machine.”

― Ian Fleming, Casino Royale
“Experience has taught us, that men will not adopt and carry into execution measures best calculated for their own good, without the intervention of a coercive power.”

― George Washington

She is my leash, my personal cure for psychopathy.

As soon as the urges rise too high I “inject” myself with her in order to feel a feeling of relief again.

That’s a person who is a cure, not pills but a simple human being. ⁂

John 17:15

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.
“All human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil: and Edward Hyde, alone, in the ranks of mankind, was pure evil.”

― Robert Louis Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Quran 11:25

And We had certainly sent Noah to his people, [saying], ” Indeed, I am to you a clear warner
1 Kings 8:57

May the LORD our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us nor forsake us.
Quran 29:15

But We saved him and the companions of the ship, and We made it a sign for the worlds.
Luke 2:51 New International Version (NIV)

51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.

Mary treasured all these things in her heart.
Her: You didn’t notice me like you did the others, so I threw a rock at you…😂
“It’s just that I’d rather die of drink than of thirst.”

― Ian Fleming, Thunderball

Them: You would use your own health as a bartering tool…

Me: That’s all I have left, good health and fading. ⁂

Proverbs 10:12 New International Version (NIV)

12 Hatred stirs up conflict,
    but love covers over all wrongs.
Some women just love to play nurse, no sense in having a fixed dog with that desire.

Alcohol Addiction, check.

Marijuana Addiction, check.

Cigarette Addiction, check.

Sex Addiction, check.

Computer Addiction, check.

Cocaine Addiction, restarting it again to make a check.

I am sure there are a few more in there.
Image result for absolutely gif
Plus in return you get the rest of my stories and information gathered over the years.

That should be enough to get me into your home, on the couch even, whether I stay or not and upgrade or not depends on me quitting or not.

“And this how the meek inherit the Earth”


“There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe.

Warp drive… wormhole refractors…

You know the thing you need most of all?

You need a hand to hold.”

― The Doctor
If proper assistance is offered?

One is willing to accept it.

All this that I create which is simply expressions of my deep desires is what was lacking for over 15 years of people trying to “force” me to quit in poisonous ways which only made me want to kill myself more.

So I ended up doing even more drugs/alcohol to counter those suicidal feelings.

No different than I do now.

Hence why I say most friends and family are traitors in my books but they can be forgiven through the grace of one angel since if I quit earlier?

I wouldn’t be begging Coleman for help now.
It is whatever the hell you want to make it out to be.

It could be like that or it could be that I actually love you enough to try but am scared to do it alone after so long.

Before meeting you I had no true desire to live, with you I feel I must try to live longer.

That’s what it’s all about anyways, my mother and kids went whining up the ladder which connected me with you, I am not stupid.

But it still stands, I need better reason because the kids and mother who went whining up the ladder are thousands of miles away.

Which once again is good because only someone like you can handle that situation alone in a house, best to not have the ones who cannot handle your monster see type of thing.
This is so gay…😂